| 那天晚上9点半钟,汤姆和希德就像平常一样被吩咐上床睡觉,他们做完祷告,希德很 快就睡着了。汤姆没有睡着,他躺在床上,不耐烦地等着。他似乎觉得天快要亮时,才听到 钟敲了十下!这太令人失望了。他很想顺应神经的要求,翻翻身,动一动,可是他害怕吵醒 希德,于是他一动不动地躺着,两眼直愣愣地盯着黑咕隆咚的夜空。万籁俱寂,阴森可怕。 后来在那一片寂静中,有一点小小的,几乎听不出来的动静渐渐地大了起来。只听到钟摆滴 嗒滴嗒在响。那些老屋的屋梁也神秘地发出裂开似的声响。楼梯也隐隐约约,吱吱嘎嘎在 响。很明显是鬼怪们在四处活动了。从波莉姨妈卧室里传来一阵匀称的、沉闷的鼾声。这时 一只蟋蟀开始发出一阵令人心烦的唧唧的叫声,而人们却根本弄不清楚它在什么地方。接着 床头的墙里有一只小蛀虫发出一阵阴森可怕的踢嗒声,这声音使汤姆吓得心惊胆跳——这似 乎意味着某个人的日子不多了。然后远处有一只狗嗥叫起来,这叫声在夜晚的上空震荡,与 远处的隐隐约约传来的狗叫声相呼应着。汤姆简直难受极了。最后他认定时间已经停住了, 永恒已经开始了。他不由自主地打起盹来,钟敲了十一下,但是他没有听见。后来在他迷迷 糊糊、似睡非睡的状态中,从外面传来一阵非常凄惨的猫儿叫春的声音。一个邻居打开窗 户,声音惊动了他。一声“滚!你这瘟猫!”的骂声和一只空瓶子砸到他的姨妈的木棚小屋 上的破碎声使他完全清醒过来,片刻工夫,他便穿带好衣帽,从窗户出来,爬行在屋顶上。 他一边爬,一边小心谨慎地“咪呜”了一两次;然后纵身一跳,上了木棚小屋,再从那跳到 地上。哈克贝利·费恩早已等候在那里,手里还拿着他那只死猫。接着两个孩子一起消失在 黑暗中。半小时之后,他俩就穿行在坟地里的深草丛中。 这是一个西部的老式的坟地,座落在离村子大约一英里的半山上。坟地周围有一道歪歪 斜斜的木板栅栏,有些地方往里倒,有的地方往外斜,总之,没有一个地方是笔直的。整片 墓地杂草丛生,所有的旧坟都塌陷下去,坟上连一块墓碑都没有。圆顶的、虫蛀的木牌子无 依无靠,歪歪倒倒地插在坟墓上。这些牌子上曾经写有“纪念某某”之类的字样,即使现在 有亮光,大多数已无法再辨认出来。 一阵微风吹过树林,发出萧瑟声响,汤姆担心这可能是死鬼们在抱怨有人来打搅了他 们。两个孩子很少说话,就是说也只敢悄悄地说,因为此时此地,到处是一片肃穆和寂静, 令人压抑。他们找到了要找的那座新隆起的坟。在离坟几英尺内的地方,有三棵大榆树长在 一起,于是他们就躲在那里。 他们静静地等了似乎很长一段时间,除了远处猫头鹰的叫声外,周围是一片死寂。汤姆 被闷得受不住了,他必须打破沉默开口谈点话,他低声问道: “哈奇,你相信死人愿意我们到这儿来吗?” 哈克贝利低声说: “我问谁呢?这里肃静得令人害怕,是不是?” “是啊。” 有好一阵子他俩没作声,各自都在心里想着这件事。之后汤姆又悄悄地说: “喂,我说哈奇——你知道霍斯·威廉斯听见我们讲话吗?” “那当然喽。至少他的阴魂能听见。” 汤姆停了一会才说: “我刚才提他时,要是带上‘先生'二字就好了。不过我从来没有不尊敬他。别人都叫 他霍斯。” “汤姆,议论死人时要特别、特别小心才对。” 这句话犹如一盆冷水让汤姆扫兴,因此谈话就中断了。 过了一会,汤姆抓住哈克的胳膊说道:“嘘!” “怎么啦,汤姆?”他们俩紧紧靠在一起,心嘣嘣直跳。 “嘘!又来了!你没有听见吗?” “我——” “听!现在听见了吧。” “哦,天啊,汤姆,他们来了,他们来了,真的!我们怎么办啊?” “我不知道。你想他们会看见我们吗?” “哦,汤姆,他们像猫一样,晚上也能看见东西。我要是不来就好了。” “啊,不要害怕。我想他们不会来找我们的麻烦。我们又没惹他们。我们只要一动也不 动,他们也许根本不会发现我们。” “汤姆,我是想不动。可是天啊,我浑身直发抖哩。” “听!” 两个孩子凑得很近,低着头,屏住呼吸。这时从远远的坟地那边传来一阵低沉的说话声。 “瞧!瞧那!”汤姆小声说,“那是什么?” “是鬼火。哦,汤姆,这太吓人了。” 黑暗中,模模糊糊有几个影子走过来,一盏老式洋铁灯笼摇来晃去,地上被照得光点斑 斑。哈克马上战战兢兢地说: “肯定是鬼来了,我的老天爷呀,一共有三个!汤姆,我们死定了!你还能祷告吗?” “我来试试,不过你别怕。他们不会害我们的。现在我躺下睡觉,我——”' “嘘!” “是什么,哈克?” “是人!至少有一个是人。那是莫夫·波特老头的声音。” “不——那不是他的声音。” “我敢打赌我没搞错,你得绝对保持安静。他没那么灵,不会看见我们的。可能又和往 常一样喝醉了——这个该死无用的老东西!” “好吧,我一定保持安静。现在他们不走了。找不到他们了。这会儿他们又来了。现在 他们来劲了。又泄气了。又来劲了。劲头十足!他们这回找对了方向。喂,哈克,我听出了 另一个人的声音,那是印第安·乔。” “不错,是那个杀人不眨眼的杂种!我倒情愿他们都是鬼,鬼都比他们好得多。他们到 这能打什么坏主意呢? 两个孩子全都止住,不再低语。这时那三个人来到坟边,站立的地方离孩子们藏身之处 还不到几英尺远。 “到了。”第三个人说,提灯的人举起灯笼,灯光下现出的是年轻的医生鲁宾逊的面 孔。” 波特和印第安·乔推着一个手推车,车上有一根绳子和两把铁锹。他们把车上的东西卸 下来,开始挖墓。医生把灯笼放在坟头上,走到榆树下,背靠着一棵坐下来。树离得很近, 两个孩子伸手就能碰到他。 “挖快点,伙计们!”他低声说,“月亮随时都可能出来。” 他们粗着嗓音应了一声后继续挖掘着。有一段时间,只能听到他们一锹一锹抛泥土和石 子所发出的嚓嚓声响。那声音非常单调刺耳。后来有一把铁锹碰到了棺材,发出了低沉的木 头声音。一两分钟后,那两个人就把棺材抬出来放在地上了。他们用铁锹撬开棺盖,把尸体 弄出来,随便掀到地上。月亮从云朵后面钻出来,照着尸体那张苍白的脸。他们把车准备 好,将尸体放上去,还盖上毯子,用绳子捆好它。波特拿出一把大弹簧刀,割断车上垂下来 的绳头,说: “医生,这该死的东西现在弄好了。再拿五块钱,要不然就别弄走它。” “对,讲得对!”印第安·乔说。 “喂,我说,这是什么意思?”医生问道。“按你们要求,我事先已经给过你们钱了。” “不错,不过还远不止这些。”印第安·乔边说边走到已经站了起来的医生面前。“五 年前的一个晚上,我到你父亲的厨房讨点吃的,你把我给赶了出来,你还说我到厨房去没什 么好事;打那时起,我发誓:就是花上一百年的功夫,我也要摆平你。你父亲因我是盲流而 将我关进牢房。你想我会善罢甘休吗?印第安人的血也不是白流的,现在你落到我手里,你 得为此付出代价。” 说到这,他已经开始在医生面前挥舞着拳头来威胁他。医生突然猛击一拳,将这个恶棍 打翻在地,波特扔掉刀,大声喊道:“嘿,你竟敢打我的朋友!”紧接着,他和医生扭打在 一起。两个人拼命打起来,脚踩着地上的草,踢得泥土飞扬。印第安·乔迅速地从地上爬起 来,眼里燃烧着怒火,抓起波特扔在地上的那把刀,像猫似的,弯着腰悄悄地在两个打架的 人周围转来转去,寻找着机会。突然医生猛地把对手摔开,抓起威廉斯坟上那块重重的墓 碑,一下子把波特打倒在地。与此同时,这个杂种乘机把刀子一下子全捅进了医生的胸膛。 医生晃了晃就倒下去,身体搭在波特身上。波特被弄得满身都是血。这时乌云遮住了这可怕 的惨相,那两个吓坏了的孩子在黑暗中连忙跑掉了。 不久,云层退去,月亮又露出了面,印第安·乔站在那两个人身旁,凝视着他们。医生 咕咕哝哝地讲了些什么话,长长地喘了一两声气,然后就安静地死去了。那个杂种还说: “那笔帐就算扯平了——你这该死的家伙。” 接着他又搜去尸体身上的东西,然后他将那把杀人的刀放在波特张开的石手里,坐上了 撬开的棺材。三——四——五分钟过去了,这时波特才开始动弹,并且呻吟起来。他的手握 住了那把刀。他举起刀来瞥了一眼,随即打了个冷颤,刀落到了地上。接着他坐起身来,推 开压着他的尸体,然后盯着它看了一会,又往周围望了望,心里感到迷惑不解。他的目光碰 到了乔的目光。 “天啊,这是怎么回事,乔?”他说。 “这事糟糕透了,”乔动也没动地说,“你干吗要这样干?” “我!我可没干这事。” “听着!这你怎么能赖掉呢。” 波特吓得直抖,脸色变得煞白。 “我认为我会醒酒的,今晚我本不想喝酒,可是现在脑子里还是糊里糊涂的,比我们来 这儿的时候还厉害。我现在昏昏沉沉,几乎回忆不起来任何事情。告诉我,乔,伙计,说老 实话,是我干的吗?乔,我根本不想那样干。天地良心,我根本不想那样干,乔,告诉我这 是怎么回事?乔?哦,这太可怕了——他这么年轻有为,前途远大。” “嘿,就是你俩扭打起来了,他用墓碑牌子砸了你一下,你就被砸叭下了。接着你爬起 来,晃晃悠悠地站不稳,就这样,你一把夺过这把刀,一下子捅进他的身体。这时候他又狠 命地给了你一击,于是你就躺在这儿,像死过去一样,人事不省,一直躺到现在。” “啊,我一点也不知道我都干了些什么。要是我当时清醒的话,我情愿马上就死掉。我 想这都是因为威士忌在作怪,当时又很冲动。乔,我从前还没有用过凶器。我跟人打过架, 可是从来没使过凶器。这一点人们都知道。乔,这事你可别说出去!乔,你说你不会说出 去,这才够意思啊。乔,我向来都喜欢你,也总是站在你一边的。你难道忘记了吗?乔,你 不会讲出去的,对不对?”于是这个可怜的家伙,双手合掌,祈求地跪倒在那个残忍的凶手 面前。 “对。莫夫·波特,你一向待我不错,我不会对不起你。怎么样,我这样说算是公平合 理吧。” “啊,乔,你真是慈悲心肠。我要祝福你一辈子。”波特开始哭起来。 “哦,得了,不要再说了。现在不是哭鼻子的时候。你从那边走,现在就动身,别留下 任何脚印。” 波特开始还是小跑,很快就大跑起来。那个杂种站在那儿,看着他的背影,自言自语地 咕哝道:“他挨了一击,酒也没醒,瞧他那样,八成想不起来这把刀了。就算想他起来,他 已经跑出去有十里八里的了。他一个人是不敢再回到这里来取刀的——这个胆小鬼。” 两三分钟后,只有月光照着那个被害的人,那个用毯子裹着的尸体,那个没有盖上盖子 的棺材,还有那座挖开的坟墓。一切又恢复了平静。
| BUT the privations, or rather the hardships, of Lowood lessened. Spring drew on: she was indeed already come; the frosts of winter had ceased; its snows were melted, its cutting winds ameliorated. My wretched feet, flayed and swollen to lameness by the sharp air of January, began to heal and subside under the gentler breathings of April; the nights and mornings no longer by their Canadian temperature froze the very blood in our veins; we could now endure the play-hour passed in the garden: sometimes on a sunny day it began even to be pleasant and genial, and a greenness grew over those brown beds, which, freshening daily, suggested the thought that Hope traversed them at night, and left each morning brighter traces of her steps.
Flowers peeped out amongst the leaves; snowdrops, crocuses, purple auriculas, and golden-eyed pansies. On Thursday afternoons (half-holidays) we now took walks, and found still sweeter flowers opening by the wayside, under the hedges.
I discovered, too, that a great pleasure, an enjoyment which the horizon only bounded, lay all outside the high and spike-guarded walls of our garden: this pleasure consisted in prospect of noble summits girdling a great hill-hollow, rich in verdure and shadow; in a bright beck, full of dark stones and sparkling eddies. How different had this scene looked when I viewed it laid out beneath the iron sky of winter, stiffened in frost, shrouded with snow!- when mists as chill as death wandered to the impulse of east winds along those purple peaks, and rolled down 'ing' and holm till they blended with the frozen fog of the beck! That beck itself was then a torrent, turbid and curbless: it tore asunder the wood, and sent a raving sound through the air, often thickened with wild rain or whirling sleet; and for the forest on its banks, that showed only ranks of skeletons.
April advanced to May: a bright, serene May it was; days of blue sky, placid sunshine, and soft western or southern gales filled up its duration. And now vegetation matured with vigour; Lowood shook loose its tresses; it became all green, all flowery; its great elm, ash, and oak skeletons were restored to majestic life; woodland plants sprang up profusely in its recesses; unnumbered varieties of moss filled its hollows, and it made a strange ground-sunshine out of the wealth of its wild primrose plants: I have seen their pale gold gleam in overshadowed spots like scatterings of the sweetest lustre. All this I enjoyed often and fully, free, unwatched, and almost alone: for this unwonted liberty and pleasure there was a cause, to which it now becomes my task to advert.
Have I not described a pleasant site for a dwelling, when I speak of it as bosomed in hill and wood, and rising from the verge of a stream? Assuredly, pleasant enough: but whether healthy or not is another question.
That forest-dell, where Lowood lay, was the cradle of fog and fog-bred pestilence; which, quickening with the quickening spring, crept into the Orphan Asylum, breathed typhus through its crowded schoolroom and dormitory, and, ere May arrived, transformed the seminary into an hospital.
Semi-starvation and neglected colds had predisposed most of the pupils to receive infection: forty-five out of the eighty girls lay ill at one time. Classes were broken up, rules relaxed. The few who continued well were allowed almost unlimited license; because the medical attendant insisted on the necessity of frequent exercise to keep them in health: and had it been otherwise, no one had leisure to watch or restrain them. Miss Temple's whole attention was absorbed by the patients: she lived in the sick-room, never quitting it except to snatch a few hours' rest at night. The teachers were fully occupied with packing up and making other necessary preparations for the departure of those girls who were fortunate enough to have friends and relations able and willing to remove them from the seat of contagion. Many, already smitten, went home only to die: some died at the school, and were buried quietly and quickly, the nature of the malady forbidding delay.
While disease had thus become an inhabitant of Lowood, and death its frequent visitor; while there was gloom and fear within its walls; while its rooms and passages steamed with hospital smells, the drug and the pastille striving vainly to overcome the effluvia of mortality, that bright May shone unclouded over the bold hills and beautiful woodland out of doors. Its garden, too, glowed with flowers: hollyhocks had sprung up tall as trees, lilies had opened, tulips and roses were in bloom; the borders of the little beds were gay with pink thrift and crimson double daisies; the sweetbriars gave out, morning and evening, their scent of spice and apples; and these fragrant treasures were all useless for most of the inmates of Lowood, except to furnish now and then a handful of herbs and blossoms to put in a coffin.
But I, and the rest who continued well, enjoyed fully the beauties of the scene and season; they let us ramble in the wood, like gipsies, from morning till night; we did what we liked, went where we liked: we lived better too. Mr. Brocklehurst and his family never came near Lowood now: household matters were not scrutinised into; the cross housekeeper was gone, driven away by the fear of infection; her successor, who had been matron at the Lowton Dispensary, unused to the ways of her new abode, provided with comparative liberality.
Besides, there were fewer to feed; the sick could eat little; our breakfast-basins were better filled; when there was no time to prepare a regular dinner, which often happened, she would give us a large piece of cold pie, or a thick slice of bread and cheese, and this we carried away with us to the wood, where we each chose the spot we liked best, and dined sumptuously.
My favourite seat was a smooth and broad stone, rising white and dry from the very middle of the beck, and only to be got at by wading through the water; a feat I accomplished barefoot. The stone was just broad enough to accommodate, comfortably, another girl and me, at that time my chosen comrade- one Mary Ann Wilson; a shrewd, observant personage, whose society I took pleasure in, partly because she was witty and original, and partly because she had a manner which set me at my ease. Some years older than I, she knew more of the world, and could tell me many things I liked to hear: with her my curiosity found gratification: to my faults also she gave ample indulgence, never imposing curb or rein on anything I said. She had a turn for narrative, I for analysis; she liked to inform, I to question; so we got on swimmingly together, deriving much entertainment, if not much improvement, from our mutual intercourse.
And where, meantime, was Helen Burns? Why did I not spend these sweet days of liberty with her? Had I forgotten her? or was I so worthless as to have grown tired of her pure society? Surely the Mary Ann Wilson I have mentioned was inferior to my first acquaintance: she could only tell me amusing stories, and reciprocate any racy and pungent gossip I chose to indulge in; while, if I have spoken truth of Helen, she was qualified to give those who enjoyed the privilege of her converse a taste of far higher things.
True, reader; and I knew and felt this: and though I am a defective being, with many faults and few redeeming points, yet I never tired of Helen Burns; nor ever ceased to cherish for her a sentiment of attachment, as strong, tender, and respectful as any that ever animated my heart. How could it be otherwise, when Helen, at all times and under all circumstances, evinced for me a quiet and faithful friendship, which ill-humour never soured, nor irritation never troubled? But Helen was ill at present: for some weeks she had been removed from my sight to I knew not what room upstairs. She was not, I was told, in the hospital portion of the house with the fever patients; for her complaint was consumption, not typhus: and by consumption I, in my ignorance, understood something mild, which time and care would be sure to alleviate.
I was confirmed in this idea by the fact of her once or twice coming downstairs on very warm sunny afternoons, and being taken by Miss Temple into the garden; but, on these occasions, I was not allowed to go and speak to her; I only saw her from the schoolroom window, and then not distinctly; for she was much wrapped up, and sat at a distance under the verandah.
One evening, in the beginning of June, I had stayed out very late with Mary Ann in the wood; we had, as usual, separated ourselves from the others, and had wandered far; so far that we lost our way, and had to ask it at a lonely cottage, where a man and woman lived, who looked after a herd of half-wild swine that fed on the mast in the wood. When we got back, it was after moonrise: a pony, which we knew to be the surgeon's, was standing at the garden door. Mary Ann remarked that she supposed some one must be very ill, as Mr. Bates had been sent for at that time of the evening. She went into the house;
I stayed behind a few minutes to plant in my garden a handful of roots I had dug up in the forest, and which I feared would wither if I left them till the morning. This done, I lingered yet a little longer: the flowers smelt so sweet as the dew fell; it was such a pleasant evening, so serene, so warm; the still glowing west promised so fairly another fine day on the morrow; the moon rose with such majesty in the grave east. I was noting these things and enjoying them as a child might, when it entered my mind as it had never done before:-
'How sad to be lying now on a sick bed, and to be in danger of dying! This world is pleasant- it would be dreary to be called from it, and to have to go who knows where?'
And then my mind made its first earnest effort to comprehend what had been infused into it concerning heaven and hell; and for the first time it recoiled, baffled; and for the first time glancing behind, on each side, and before it, it saw all round an unfathomed gulf: it felt the one point where it stood- the present; all the rest was formless cloud and vacant depth; and it shuddered at the thought of tottering, and plunging amid that chaos. While pondering this new idea, I heard the front door open; Mr. Bates came out, and with him was a nurse. After she had seen him mount his horse and depart, she was about to close the door, but I ran up to her.
'How is Helen Burns?'
'Very poorly,' was the answer.
'Is it her Mr. Bates has been to see?'
'Yes.'
'And what does he say about her?'
'He says she'll not be here long.'
This phrase, uttered in my hearing yesterday, would have only conveyed the notion that she was about to be removed to Northumberland, to her own home. I should not have suspected that it meant she was dying; but I knew instantly now! It opened clear on my comprehension that Helen Burns was numbering her last days in this world, and that she was going to be taken to the region of spirits, if such region there were. I experienced a shock of horror, then a strong thrill of grief, then a desire- a necessity to see her; and I asked in what room she lay.
'She is in Miss Temple's room,' said the nurse.
'May I go up and speak to her?'
'Oh no, child! It is not likely; and now it is time for you to come in; you'll catch the fever if you stop out when the dew is falling.'
The nurse closed the front door; I went in by the side entrance which led to the schoolroom: I was just in time; it was nine o'clock, and Miss Miller was calling the pupils to go to bed.
It might be two hours later, probably near eleven, when I- not having been able to fall asleep, and deeming, from the perfect silence of the dormitory, that my companions were all wrapt in profound repose- rose softly, put on my frock over my night-dress, and, without shoes, crept from the apartment, and set off in quest of Miss Temple's room. It was quite at the other end of the house; but I knew my way; and the light of the unclouded summer moon, entering here and there at passage windows, enabled me to find it without difficulty. An odour of camphor and burnt vinegar warned me when I came near the fever room: and I passed its door quickly, fearful lest the nurse who sat up all night should hear me. I dreaded being discovered and sent back; for I must see Helen,- I must embrace her before she died,- I must give her one last kiss, exchange with her one last word.
Having descended a staircase, traversed a portion of the house below, and succeeded in opening and shutting, without noise, two doors, I reached another flight of steps; these I mounted, and then just opposite to me was Miss Temple's room. A light shone through the keyhole and from under the door; a profound stillness pervaded the vicinity. Coming near, I found the door slightly ajar; probably to admit some fresh air into the close abode of sickness. Indisposed to hesitate, and full of impatient impulses- soul and senses quivering with keen throes- I put it back and looked in. My eye sought Helen, and feared to find death.
Close by Miss Temple's bed, and half covered with its white curtains, there stood a little crib. I saw the outline of a form under the clothes, but the face was hid by the hangings: the nurse I had spoken to in the garden sat in an easy-chair asleep; an unsnuffed candle burnt dimly on the table. Miss Temple was not to be seen: I knew afterwards that she had been called to a delirious patient in the fever-room. I advanced; then paused by the crib side: my hand was on the curtain, but I preferred speaking before I withdrew it. I still recoiled at the dread of seeing a corpse.
'Helen!' I whispered softly, 'are you awake?'
She stirred herself, put back the curtain, and I saw her face, pale, wasted, but quite composed: she looked so little changed that my fear was instantly dissipated.
'Can it be you, Jane?' she asked, in her own gentle voice.
'Oh!' I thought, 'she is not going to die; they are mistaken: she could not speak and look so calmly if she were.'
I got on to her crib and kissed her: her forehead was cold, and her cheek both cold and thin, and so were her hand and wrist; but she smiled as of old.
'Why are you come here, Jane? It is past eleven o'clock: I heard it strike some minutes since.'
'I came to see you, Helen: I heard you were very ill, and I could not sleep till I had spoken to you.'
'You came to bid me good-bye, then: you are just in time probably.'
'Are you going somewhere, Helen? Are you going home?'
'Yes; to my long home- my last home.'
'No, no, Helen!' I stopped, distressed. While I tried to devour my tears, a fit of coughing seized Helen; it did not, however, wake the nurse; when it was over, she lay some minutes exhausted; then she whispered-
'Jane, your little feet are bare; lie down and cover yourself with my quilt.'
I did so: she put her arm over me, and I nestled close to her.
After a long silence, she resumed, still whispering-
'I am very happy, Jane; and when you hear that I am dead, you must be sure and not grieve: there is nothing to grieve about. We all must die one day, and the illness which is removing me is not painful; it is gentle and gradual: my mind is at rest. I leave no one to regret me much: I have only a father; and he is lately married, and will not miss me. By dying young, I shall escape great sufferings.
I had not qualities or talents to make my way very well in the world: I should have been continually at fault.'
'But where are you going to, Helen? Can you see? Do you know?'
'I believe; I have faith: I am going to God.'
'Where is God? What is God?'
'My Maker and yours, who will never destroy what He created. I rely implicitly on His power, and confide wholly in His goodness: I count the hours till that eventful one arrives which shall restore me to Him, reveal Him to me.'
'You are sure, then, Helen, that there is such a place as heaven, and that our souls can get to it when we die?'
'I am sure there is a future state; I believe God is good; I can resign my immortal part to Him without any misgiving. God is my father; God is my friend: I love Him; I believe He loves me.'
'And shall I see you again, Helen, when I die?'
'You will come to the same region of happiness: be received by the same mighty, universal Parent, no doubt, dear Jane.'
Again I questioned, but this time only in thought. 'Where is that region? Does it exist?' And I clasped my arms closer around Helen; she seemed dearer to me than ever; I felt as if I could not let her go;
I lay with my face hidden on her neck. Presently she said, in the sweetest tone-
'How comfortable I am! That last fit of coughing has tired me a little; I feel as if I could sleep: but don't leave me, Jane; I like to have you near me.'
'I'll stay with you, dear Helen: no one shall take me away.'
'Are you warm, darling?'
'Yes.'
'Good-night, Jane.'
'Good-night, Helen.'
She kissed me, and I her, and we both soon slumbered.
When I awoke it was day: an unusual movement roused me; I looked up; I was in somebody's arms; the nurse held me; she was carrying me through the passage back to the dormitory. I was not reprimanded for leaving my bed; people had something else to think about; no explanation was afforded then to my many questions; but a day or two afterwards I learned that Miss Temple, on returning to her own room at dawn, had found me laid in the little crib; my face against Helen Burns's shoulder, my arms round her neck. I was asleep, and Helen was-dead.
Her grave is in Brocklebridge churchyard: for fifteen years after her death it was only covered by a grassy mound; but now a grey marble tablet marks the spot, inscribed with her name, and the word 'Resurgam.' |